You Think It's a Game?

It is remarkable that with all of the literature, both official and unofficial, that has been created regarding Love, it is still an abstract that we have yet to wrap our minds around. That speaks volumes about its power and scope. How dare we as humans venture to even think that we could capture Love? (Yet here I am with my own small attempt at exploring its essence)



I have certainly had my share of experience with love (eros), in all its forms: crushes, puppy love, simply loving someone, and even being in love. Each has its ups and commensurate downs, both of which are inexplicable. The positives that love boasts change men to they whom they have not seen before. Personally, I have proclaimed things to myself and others about how I would handle certain situations in a relationship then watched myself do the exact opposite when the situation arose, all in the name of Love.

As serious as Love is, just like anything else, it is a game; however, the most exciting (and moreover troubling) part is that the rules differ entirely from person to person. This is the reason that Love is an abstract. It is because, like colors, Love appears to us all in slightly different ways. Of course there are characteristics that all lovers will pick up on, but it is inevitable that with infinite experiences, each lover will develop a different perspective, thus a different definition, of Love.

My best friend and I recently had a conversation about the irony of Love. We all yearn for this elusive True Love who fits all of our ideals and who will make our lives perfect, yet we fail to realize that Love is HARD WORK and will likely take you through some of the most painful situations you have ever experienced. This is because, particularly at a young age, serious relationships involve two beings who have passed their physical growing pains and have progressed to the more rigorous mental/emotional/spiritual growing pains that plague one's twenties. The challenge that we present ourselves with is to share our most intimate space-- while it is constantly changing-- with another, whose personal space is also constantly changing. These trials are not, however, without rewards. In my experience with Love, the ups are tantamount to, if not exceeding and above, the downs that are sure to haunt any worthwhile LoveQuest. I believe it was Oscar Wilde (thanks Jill) who commented that the only real losers in Love are those who fail to participate, because they have totally missed out on one of the most fulfilling joys of life. Of course we all want to have that Happily Ever After ending, but our experience is not complete without the pitfalls on the way. (Please trust, there are many.)

So Happy Lovers' Day, all. With or without a Valentine, let's do it big.