You Think It's a Game?

It is remarkable that with all of the literature, both official and unofficial, that has been created regarding Love, it is still an abstract that we have yet to wrap our minds around. That speaks volumes about its power and scope. How dare we as humans venture to even think that we could capture Love? (Yet here I am with my own small attempt at exploring its essence)



I have certainly had my share of experience with love (eros), in all its forms: crushes, puppy love, simply loving someone, and even being in love. Each has its ups and commensurate downs, both of which are inexplicable. The positives that love boasts change men to they whom they have not seen before. Personally, I have proclaimed things to myself and others about how I would handle certain situations in a relationship then watched myself do the exact opposite when the situation arose, all in the name of Love.

As serious as Love is, just like anything else, it is a game; however, the most exciting (and moreover troubling) part is that the rules differ entirely from person to person. This is the reason that Love is an abstract. It is because, like colors, Love appears to us all in slightly different ways. Of course there are characteristics that all lovers will pick up on, but it is inevitable that with infinite experiences, each lover will develop a different perspective, thus a different definition, of Love.

My best friend and I recently had a conversation about the irony of Love. We all yearn for this elusive True Love who fits all of our ideals and who will make our lives perfect, yet we fail to realize that Love is HARD WORK and will likely take you through some of the most painful situations you have ever experienced. This is because, particularly at a young age, serious relationships involve two beings who have passed their physical growing pains and have progressed to the more rigorous mental/emotional/spiritual growing pains that plague one's twenties. The challenge that we present ourselves with is to share our most intimate space-- while it is constantly changing-- with another, whose personal space is also constantly changing. These trials are not, however, without rewards. In my experience with Love, the ups are tantamount to, if not exceeding and above, the downs that are sure to haunt any worthwhile LoveQuest. I believe it was Oscar Wilde (thanks Jill) who commented that the only real losers in Love are those who fail to participate, because they have totally missed out on one of the most fulfilling joys of life. Of course we all want to have that Happily Ever After ending, but our experience is not complete without the pitfalls on the way. (Please trust, there are many.)

So Happy Lovers' Day, all. With or without a Valentine, let's do it big.

They Keep Calling It the Year of New Beginnings

Sometimes you get overwhelmed. And then sometimes you get fed up. Then sometimes your name is Quinnton and that happens to you almost on a daily basis. But then you live, you learn and you get Luvs. I'm not even sure why I'm writing this blog right now. I guess "I just felt like it" would best describe my motives. Moreover, with the lengths that I have stretched myself to in order to attain perfection recently and over the past 23 years, I think that's probably the best reason that I could've done anything. I have someone in particular to thank for that epiphany but I dont want to get ahead of myself.

Perhaps I started this blog because this really is a new beginning for me। For the first time in my life, everything is not laid out in a solid plan 5 years in advance. For the first time, all points are not connected with straight lines. Hell, some things aren't even connected at all. I feel like I just took a handful of red pills and this ride is scary. Still, thanks to that special someone I'm actually able to enjoy the ride for what it is. Pretty much my entire life, I have tried to be perfect. Please note that I did not say that I have been a perfectionist. "Perfectionist" is a trite term that people use in those job interviews that I hate so much.

"I would have to say that one of my strengths is that I'm a perfectionist and I pay very close attention to detail. Conversely, I would say that that is one of my weaknesses as well, because sometimes I can pay too much attention to detail and lose sight of the big picture..."

GAG! Please dont get me started on the Establishment, as it are... But I digress. I'm not your typical perfectionist that wears it as if it were some gold star on his forehead. I'm talking perfection to the point that phrases such as "It doesn't matter" and "It's not that bad" do not exist. Get into THAT. I've lived my life majorly trying to be perfect in order to make other people's lives better, so now in this "Year of New Beginnings", major things in my life have been flipped upside-down; I'm being forced to roll away the boulders of my past on which I have carved my niche and start life anew, with a more realistic outlook.

What is this happiness thing really all about? I guess I'll find out after I take a peek through the looking-glass... it only gets better from here...